I very rarely record phone calls at work. I only hit the Record button if I suspect a customer might become abusive, or if the customer begins displaying stupidity of such magnitude that people would not believe me if I did not have proof. Most of the calls I do record end up being deleted because my suspicions were incorrect, or the stupidity involved was just your average, garden-variety type that all tech support reps have experienced. Every once in a while, though, I record something that must be preserved for posterity and shared with the masses. The only recordings I have so far are the ones you see below. Some are funnier than others, but as I collect more, I will get pickier about which ones I actually post. You might want to bookmark this page and check in once a month or so to see if any new stupidity has made its way here.
All recordings are were made by myself or my coworkers, and are unedited with two possible exceptions:
NOTICE: All recordings posted here are technically the property of the ISP for which I work, and may not be copied and posted elsewhere without written consent (which you won't get, so don't even try it). You may download any call for your own enjoyment, but please do not upload it to any public forum under any circumstances. Violators of this restriction will be killed and eaten. This is the only warning you will receive.
The Old Curmudgeon This guy was going to bitch no matter what.
I Wanna Go Fa-aster All she knows is she wants to go fa-aster.
Little Horse's Ass I diagnosed her problem as a phone line issue and referred her to the phone company. They sent her back to me saying it was our problem. Listen closely to the very end of the call and decide for yourself.
Isn't It Sad When Cousins Marry? This call was taken by a coworker. Tell me honestly if this guy has any business even owning a computer, let alone taking it online.
Product Of Public Education Another dim bulb who literally can't read the instructions, then hangs up on me.
Just A Simple Username Change This call started with a coworker. All this guy had to do was add a "1" to the end of his username, but it wasn't that simple, as this painful call shows. She transferred him to me, and all of a sudden he could magically see his username and password. Some people's children.
Alcohol Must Be Involved 1 This woman was attempting to connect using our Tech Support number. So I had to call her.
Alcohol Must Be Involved 2 My second call to her after she hung up. Warning: This is a 12 minute recording, but worth it.
Sad Sack 1 This series of calls came in from a guy who we fully expected to see on the news the next day as a suicide victim.
Sad Sack 2 He also hates being on speakerphone.
Sad Sack 3 And he'll only speak with the other man.
Sad Sack 4 He hangs up on us for the last time.
Children of the Night This is actually a hilarious voicemail left on my extension by a coworker one evening after we traded shifts. He normally works days; I normally work nights.
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©2003-2004 by Eric Wasson. All rights reserved.